Pencils & Lens: Archive

Aug 31st

2,186 notes

Aug 31st

42,837 notes

the perfect school

also known as: TUMBLR SCHOOL
headmaster: dumbledore
heads of houses: the avengers
dress code: pyjamas
maths: calculating so that you don't reach the post limit. ever.
sports (totally optional): quidditch or the total wipeout course
art: creating gifs, fanart and photosets
english: writing fanfiction
product design: creating the hunger games arenas
drama: roleplaying
IT: html coding
history: the dark ages before tumblr and discovering the origin of the flower behind anons head
night-time: NIGHTBLOGGING
 there will be places for worshippiing J K Rowling and Suzanne Collins
 and everyone will talk to everyone and everyone will be happy and if anyone sends hate they will be sent to one of the hunger games arenas designed by students

Aug 29th

54,471 notes

2 tags

Watch

cliffrose-acetone: iwill-burn-the-heart-outofyou: cydoniahype: etherialhannah526: grassleaves: boldinthebroken: milesjai: WHAT THE HELL BBC. DYING. FOR.EVER.RE.BLOG. Daytime nightime Daytime nightime there are few things that make me enjoy being british but this is one of them omfg ALAN ALAN ALAN ALAN I LOST IT AT THE BEATBOXING

Aug 29th

136,473 notes

2 tags

Aug 29th

1,472 notes

Aug 29th

26,043 notes

1 tag

Aug 29th

967 notes

1 tag

Watch

ohmyhedwig: super—mcnasty: dirty-purple-suit: cawcawmfker: my-mind-is-a-map: flippingemily: princeofthebutterkingdom: thesingerisacrook: I don’t know what the fuck this is, but I’ve just watched it eight times in the last 20 minutes. -1?'https':'http';var...

Aug 29th

493,248 notes

1 tag

Aug 29th

281 notes

1 tag

Aug 29th

235,295 notes

joydivsion: i love sleeping but i hate going to sleep do you see my problem

Aug 29th

77,931 notes

1 tag

Watch

the-absolute-funniest-posts: lulz-time: Follow this blog, it cured polio. Ok not really, but it could have…

Aug 29th

116,615 notes

Aug 29th

4,344 notes

1 tag

Aug 27th

12,036 notes

When you give someone a long ass explanation &... →

the-absolute-funniest-posts: 10knotes: Here’s a blog that’s totally worth following

Aug 27th

104,398 notes

2 tags

Aug 27th

138,130 notes

3 tags

Aug 27th

23,135 notes

Aug 27th

2,526 notes

Aug 26th

469,379 notes

Aug 26th

4,263 notes

2 tags

Aug 25th

67,524 notes

2 tags

Aug 25th

1,271 notes

1 tag

Aug 25th

2,794 notes

1 tag

The following quotations are taken from official...

Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
Witness: "I only have one, you know."
 -----
Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
 -----
Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
 The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
 -----
Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
Witness: "July 15th."
Lawyer: "What year?"
Witness: "Every year."
 -----
Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
 -----
Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "Er...his face."
 -----
Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
Witness: "I forget."
Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
 -----
Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
Witness: "Forty-five years."
 -----
Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
Witness: "My name is Susan."
 -----
Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
 -----
Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."
 -----
Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
 -----
Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
 -----
Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
 -----
Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
 -----
Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
 -----
Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
 -----
Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
Witness: "That's me."
Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
 -----
Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
 -----
Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
 -----
Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
Witness: "None."
Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
 -----
Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
 -----
Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
Witness: "Borofkin."
Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
Witness: "I can't remember."
Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
 -----
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
Witness: "No."
 -----
Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
 -----
Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
 -----
Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
 -----
Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
 -----
Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
Witness: "I could see his head."
Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
 -----
Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
Witness: "The victim lived."

Aug 25th

90,858 notes

2 tags

Aug 25th

62,080 notes

3 tags

Aug 25th

10,316 notes

1 tag

Aug 25th

8,324 notes

Aug 25th

82,021 notes

Aug 25th

22,627 notes

Aug 25th

70 notes

1 tag

Aug 25th

15,870 notes

3 tags

dangling-thpider: 2boys1cup: wow kids these days age 13 smoking weed and having sex? when I was that age i was popping pills, injecting heroin and planning my 10th murder Only your 10th?

Aug 25th

140,538 notes

1 tag